You do NOT want to be a stay-at-home dad

You may think being a stay-at-home dad is all snuggles and cartoons, well, you’re wrong, all wrong.

I sure do miss going to work every morning, this stay at-home-dad stuff is really overrated.

I miss tucking in my button-down shirt into my khaki pants each morning and putting on the same pair of uncomfortable shoes day in and day out. As a stay-at-home dad I’m now forced to wear the same blue jeans over and over again, and shirts… always untucked.

My mornings no longer have the adrenaline surge similar to a pit crew during a car race. Gentlemen start your engines. I miss waking up at 5:30am, stuffing waffles in my sleepy kids’ faces, throwing them in the car at 6:30 slowing down just enough at daycare so they could dive-roll out of the car without getting hurt, then pulling into work without a minute to spare. Good times. Since becoming a SAHD, that “fast paced” morning routine is now more of a “slow shuffle.”

Being a SAHD at lunch time is the worst! I’m forced to sit with my kids, eating whatever I made, taking as much time as I want to finish my lunch. I sure do miss the joys of lunch at work, waiting in line for the microwave during my 20 minute lunch, yes, I said 20 minute lunch. The glorious life of a teacher. I sure do miss inhaling my food out of microwaved plastic tupperware containers, where the center of the food in the container was still frozen solid while the rest of it was burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth boiling hot, mmm delicious.

I have to do my errands during the week when all the stores are empty. I no longer have the pleasure of waiting in long lines or playing bumper carts at the grocery store.

The thrill of driving during rush hour is gone too. No more getting stuck behind a traffic accident on the interstate. No more slip sliding my way home on snowy days, turning my 45 minute commute into an epic three hour video game like experience.

As a SAHD at dinner time, I have to cook and eat homemade food. We no longer eat gourmet Italian (Dominoes) or succulent fast food.

So, don’t do it. Don’t become a SAHD, unless of course, you like leisurely mornings, long lunches, story time with your kids, errands when no one is around, homemade food, no commute and comfy clothes, then maybe it’s something worth considering.

-Pete

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