A look back at some of the funny things my kids have said over the past year or so…
1. “You can’t always trust yourself, sometimes you have to trust your daughter.” -Words of wisdom, spoken to me from my six-year-old.
2. “I’m not afraid of bees, I’m Batman.” -My ridiculous two-year-old
3. “Dammit, I forgot to pack my jammies!”- My six-year-old daughter at grandma’s house.
4. I’m certain my son is too old for diapers. Today he comes up to me, walking like a cowboy and smelling like an outhouse and says, “Dad we’re gonna need some wipes.”
5. After my son climbed up the slide at the playground, he proclaimed in the manliest voice he could muster, “I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE!”
6. “Dad I wasn’t rolling my eyes. Sometimes I just lift them up, then they fall back down. It’s how I breathe sometimes.”
7. “Everyone has a buttocks, except for the mailman.” -a three-year-old’s wisdom.
8. Me: Nap time.
Son: No, it’s not dark out.
Me: Nap time.
Son: Am I nocturnal?
Son: Then I don’t sleep during the day.
9. “Dad, I NEED $88.00!!! -My daughter after spending five minutes on the American Girl Doll website.
10. “Dad, since parents are the boss of kids can they fire their kids?”
11. “You can’t be a prince with your hands in your pants!” Spoken from my daughter to her brother.