Pete Gilbert">

Swag Bag for New Parents

The Oscars were last night. As much a people care about award winners and designer dresses, I’m more intrigued with the swag bags the losers received.

What’s a SWAG bag? Think of the little gift bags kids get at the end of a child’s birthday party. Except at the Oscars it’s not stickers, suckers, and bouncy balls. In fact, this year’s Oscars swag bags are worth over $80,000 each!

What’s in these bags? Here are a few of the items:

– A $15,000 walking tour of Japan

– A $9,000 trip to Vegas

– $280 worth of maple syrup

– A $120 mace gun

– $35 herbal tea lollipops

– My personal favorite- The $6.49 Drain Wig, that keeps hair from clogging the shower drain.

– and much, much more!

How about instead of giving a bag of stuff to fancy celebrities on their biggest night of self-congratulations we come up with a swag bag we can give to new parents?

I propose the contents of the swag bag for parents be something like this.

-A six-month supply of coffee. Never is caffeine needed more than those first few months with a newborn.

-One pair of noise canceling headphones. Parents can alternate wearing the headphones that block out the screaming of a new baby while getting quality chunks of sleep, that is, of course, until his or her turn is over.

-Some cheap cloth diapers so parents can decide if it is right for them. Hint: Wait a couple of days though before you start using them. Meconium is not your friend.

-A breast pump. A good one. not a manual one, but one so powerful, you would think it was gasoline powered. If formula companies can handout jars of formula in the hospital, you would think someone would be willing sponsor dropping one of these in the swag bag.

-More coffee.

-A Netflix subscription. Your weekends going out just turned into weekends staying in, for a very long time.

-Wine and a certificate for a night of babysitting six weeks after the birth of your child. Wink. Wink.

-And of course, Sophie the giraffe. Because every child NEEDS one of those right 😉 ?

What did I leave off the list? Any suggestions?

-Pete

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