What Parenting Books Never Told You

Parenting is weird. There are thousands of parenting books out there, and I’m not sure ANY of them actually prepare you for the job.

Let’s start with the basics, like furniture. First of all, your furniture will be taken over, not only by your children, but by their toys as well.

Your furniture will also be used in ways you never thought possible. 

Indoors and out.


If you ask your kids to put their things away, you may want to be more specific with WHERE exactly you’d like them to be put away. Otherwise they may end up using the dryer as a storage unit.

You knew kids would be expensive, but you were thinking about expenses like childcare and diapers, not overdue library books.

You’ll be Googling things you never thought you’d need to know…

…and texting strange sentences to your spouse.

You’ll find bits of food that will leave you scratching your head…

and clean up messes that weren’t your fault, but you will certainly take all of the blame for.

Innocent toys have their lives come to abrupt endings

and others become the thing nightmares are made of.

There will be times though when your kids think you are superhuman. For example, how were you able to figure out one of the kids was changing the thermostat?

They will also think you have x-ray vision during hide and seek.

Finally, the most important takeaway from this is the following: Do not, I repeat, do not leave great grandma in charge and also tell the kids they can use face and body paint.


Brian "Pete"
Brian "Pete"
Indianapolis Stay-at-Home Dad to three kids, ages nine, six and four. Blogger and monthly print columnist for Indy’s Child, Cincinnati Parent and Dayton Parent magazines. Fifth grade class spelling bee runner-up. Gold Award Winner at the Parenting Media Association Editorial and Design Awards for Best Blog/Blogger.

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