Just in time for Summer Blockbuster Movie Season…here’s a list of movie titles I hope get remade…starring toddlers.
My non-Sleeping Beauty- My daughter’s refusal to take naps, no matter how tired she actually is.
The (I stepped on a) LEGO Movie- An ordinary parents quest to end the pain and suffering of stepping on LEGO blocks.
101 SpilledRaisins- 90 minutes of a parent and child debating which one of them will pick up the raisins.
Cry Kids- Starring two kids that didn’t get to visit the dollar aisle during a trip to Target.
The Lyin’ King- The story of the child that will create five large lies to cover up one small lie.
Shower Interrupted- The story of how not getting 10 minutes of peace and quiet can cause a parent to have a mental breakdown.
Mission Impossible VI- A trip to the store with kids.
Every toddler has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day- In 3-D!
The Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Massacre- When your very hungry child asks for a grilled cheese for lunch using the last of the bread in the house, and you accidentally burn it.
Awake From Dusk Till Dawn- Spoiler Alert! Halfway through the night the parents turn into zombies
Oh Blankie, Where Art Thou? The hour-long quest to find the ONLY blanket your child NEEDS before falling asleep.
Guess Who’s Not Eating Dinner? This movie plays every night and does not appear to be leaving the theaters anytime soon!
My UnFair Lady- Starring Mommy!
Half-hour at the Museum- A young family pays a ridiculous amount of money to visit a local museum, only to have their kids behave so poorly, they must leave almost immediately.
The Hungry Games- Multiple showings each day at 7am, 10am, noon, 2pm, 5pm and 8pm.
The Devil Wears Diapers- A Documentary.
The Slow and the Furious- Getting out the door with toddlers.
Coming soon to a theater near you?!?
-Pete
