His sage parenting advice appears in Indy’s Child magazine and on IndysChild.com, and now A Dad Influence’s Pete speaks to expectant dads courtesy of his article in OhBaby! magazine. What should those expectant fathers know? He lays it out on the line.
Dear soon-to-be dads,
Being with your significant other while she delivers a baby is a slippery slope: It’s an incredible experience, but at the same time offers many opportunities for the dad-to-be to make a fool of himself.
Don’t be that dad.
There are definitely some unwritten rules that need to be addressed before the big day. While a few may be common sense, most I had to learn the hard way. As a three-time dad, I’m here to help. Follow these Do’s and Don’ts and you will be well on your way to Super Dad status.
Before Labor
Do bring an extra layer of clothes. If your wife wants the delivery room thermostat set at sixty degrees, guess what? The room will be sixty degrees. So bundle up.
Don’t ask for anything for yourself. Nurses are there to take care of your wife, not get you a blanket.
Do have your own bag packed ahead of time (your wife likely packed hers a month ago – if not, see “It’s In The Bag: What to pack for labor” on pg. 24 of OhBaby! magazine).
Don’t wait until your wife is laboring at home to ask her advice on what you should pack for the hospital.
Do have a car seat ready and properly installed for your baby.
Don’t walk around the halls of the hospital with it still in the box.
Do practice changing a diaper ahead of time (on a doll…with the help of YouTube, if necessary).
Don’t think you’re less of a man for doing so.
Do bring snacks.
Don’t think the hospital’s “nourishment room” is going to be stocked with all sorts of deliciousness. We’re talking peanut butter or crackers. Both if you’re lucky.
During Labor
Do remain calm.
Don’t say things like, “That’s so gross!” Think it all you want, just DON’T SAY IT ALOUD!
Do bring a camera and politely ask a nurse to take some pictures if that’s what your wife wants.
Don’t take a selfie while your wife is laboring in the background and post it to social media. That’s grounds for removal from the room or the family depending on how lenient your wife is.
Do hold your wife’s hand…BUT ONLY IF SHE ASKS YOU TO!
Don’t rub your wife’s legs and feet if she’s had an epidural… remember she’s numb down there dummy.
Do be empathetic. Gents, I’m pretty sure it’s a pain we can’t comprehend.
Don’t compare your wife’s labor pain to one you’ve previously experienced (like that time you hit your finger with a hammer and it hurt really bad!). And don’t make a sex joke of any kind – remember that’s what got her into this situation in the first place.
Do stand off to the side of the room and slowly slide down a wall if you’re feeling faint.
Don’t ignore it and pass out in the middle of the delivery room floor. (Men, do you really want medical treatment from an OB/GYN?)
Do be in the room the entire time.
Don’t wander. Side note: I almost missed the delivery of our third baby while I was in the waiting room telling my mom to go home because I didn’t think my wife was going to have a baby that night. I am not an expert in labor time management and neither are you.
During and After Delivery
Do participate in the delivery.
Don’t mistake the umbilical cord for “other” anatomy and shout, “IT’S A BOY!”
Do cut the cord if you’re asked.
Don’t be gentle with the scissors. You’ve gotta squeeze those things hard – that cord is like a garden hose.
Do offer to wash the baby when the time comes.
Don’t be afraid of the meconium – it won’t last forever. If you don’t know what meconium is, Google it. But not at mealtime.
Oh, and I almost forgot one final thing…Do cry your eyes out. The day your child is born is the most amazing day of your life.
-Pete
For more parenting columns from Pete, follow along with his blog A Dad Influence on IndysChild.com and his Facebook page A Dad Influence.
